Wait a Minute Mr. Postman!

Hi!
I'd like to extend a heartfelt thank you to Pam (aka Snowdrops), Elizabeth and Kristen for their donations to the HERO Ride For Life, American Cancer Fundraiser Ride, Autumn and I are doing May 5th.  For more information you can visit our last blog At It Again.  Any donation is appreciated and it all goes to a helping a great cause that effects us all.  You can make a check payable to the American Cancer Society and mail it to Margaret Hague, PO Box 1356, Blue Lake, CA 95525 by May 1st. 
If you have someone special that you would like us to honor, Autumn and I will carry their name on a heart with us during the ride.
Thanks so much for helping us help a great cause!
Margaret & Autumn

At 8:00 in the morning, when I got into work at the veterinary hospital, the appointment book was lazy with openings.  By 8:30 the phones were screaming and we were scheduling emergencies into the doctors lunch hour.  A sheep had gotten run over by their distraught owner.  A cow needed her unborn dead calf, stuck inside of her backwards, pulled out.  Four baby goats, that were healthy the night before, had been found passed away this morning. The owners wanted a postmortem performed to find out why and what happened  to prevent anymore unhappy mornings.  Twenty five cows needed to be pregnancy tested. Bulls were coming in for semen testing and labwork to prove that they were STD free.  A mystery had to be solved of why a horse was lame, another was coming in to find out if she was pregnant and others needed to be vaccinated.  A calf needed it's horn buds burned...  The appointment book looked exhausted.  In the middle of all this, I had to make sure I had the dead goats and the bull lab work was packed up to send to the university and delivered to the courier by 2:30.
The doctors were swarming in and out of the office completing their appointments.  The bulls rolled in right on time and I slipped on my coveralls, pulled my hair back tight and slapped on my knee high boots...the official B.S. uniform.  It was time for me to shine as an expert bull ejaculator. (For a tutorial on ejaculating check out It's The Bad As It Sounds Job)   I usually dread this job because I think it's kind of violating and feel like a weirdo doing it.  For a while I was puzzled when the doctors would pull me out of the office to be the ejaculator when the owner of the bulls would volunteer to be the pitcher for the procedure.  Did they enjoy seeing me back there with my lips sealed tight hoping that my face wasn't about to become a cowpie-brown abstract painting? I had to ask.  According to the doctors  I have a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to ejaculating.  Bottom line, I'm good and I get results.  Not only am I the office Not So Petite Rodeo Princess (See Not So Petite Rodeo Princess for the dirt )  but the Maestro Of The Ejaculator as well.  Another skill to add to the old resume.  Apparently I've got some skills when it comes to shoving a big probe up a bull's butt and praying that he ejaculates before anyone sees me doing it. 
The appointment went smoothly thanks to my expertise and I was back in the office packaging up the lab work.  With a few minutes to spare, I dashed out the door with a 30 pound package full of goat heads, livers, kidneys and a few pouches of bull smegma tucked in to it to hand off to the courier.  I got it there just in time to pass the unassuming box to the young college girl at the counter.  In this case I'm a big fan of the don't ask don't tell policy.   No need to open Pandora's box and spoil someone's lunch.

Thanks for reading!  If you would like leave a comment or would like to be added to my mailing list please contact me at jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com.
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