High Horse

A few years ago, we got a call at the veterinary office from a client out in the hills east of us.  Her horse was staggering around the pasture and she wanted the doctor to make the hour long drive out to her property as soon as possible. 
It was late noon before the doctor made it back to the office.  She said that the horse was walking as if it were drunk, totally uncoordinated and very fatigued.  The horse did not have a fever, heart rate was fine, hydration was fine.  The strange symptoms started adding up to the possibility that this horse could be suffering from some sort of neurological disorder.  Neurological disorders in horses are just about as great as they are in humans.  The treatment is long, costly and although there can be substantial improvement after the treatment, full recovery is not guaranteed.  The doctor reviewed all the different lab work available to test the blood samples she had taken from her patient.  With it being so late in the day we were unable to catch the overnight courier. The lab work would have to wait until the following day to be sent out. 
In the meantime, the doctor pulled out medical books, comparing symptoms and scenarios.  Before leaving for the day, the doctor called the client for an update.  The client said that another horse out in the same pasture was now displaying the same symptoms. The two of them were just swaying and swaggering their way around the field nibbling here and there at the grass. 
The next morning I got myself busy filling out the lab work forms and packaging up the blood work.  As the doctor was sitting down to call the client for an update the client called us.  The office came to a stand still and we listened to what we could of the conversation.  The doctor's face went from stone cold serious, to an eyebrow lifting wonderment, to a smile and then beat red.  There was a lot of laughing and "yes-ing" and it ended in "well that's good".
"Well?" we all asked when she hung up.
The doctor explained that the owner decided to walk the perimeter of their 40 acre pasture when she happened upon a huge heap of clippings that someone had dumped over their fence.  On closer inspection, the owner realized that this was not your typical landscape clippings.  This was some of Humboldt County's special green grass trimmings.  These horses weren't stumbling as much as they were tripping. Their diagnosis was eating weeds and getting a little dopey. 


This grass is like, so good man! You like, really got to try a bite! Wow!  It's like so green.

After this whole situation we decided that we may have to create a new type of exam to deal with these types of symptoms in the future. The exam would have to include:

1. Checking the eyes for redness
2. Playing live Grateful Dead music to observe if the horse does the hippie shuffle dance and likes the 45 minute guitar solo.
3. Offering the horse a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream to observe if he eats it all without sharing.
4. Seeing if the horse will engage in a game of hacky sack.
5. Seeing if the horse would like to jump on a trampoline.

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