Wednesday, January 25, 2012

High Horse

A few years ago, we got a call at the veterinary office from a client out in the hills east of us.  Her horse was staggering around the pasture and she wanted the doctor to make the hour long drive out to her property as soon as possible. 
It was late noon before the doctor made it back to the office.  She said that the horse was walking as if it were drunk, totally uncoordinated and very fatigued.  The horse did not have a fever, heart rate was fine, hydration was fine.  The strange symptoms started adding up to the possibility that this horse could be suffering from some sort of neurological disorder.  Neurological disorders in horses are just about as great as they are in humans.  The treatment is long, costly and although there can be substantial improvement after the treatment, full recovery is not guaranteed.  The doctor reviewed all the different lab work available to test the blood samples she had taken from her patient.  With it being so late in the day we were unable to catch the overnight courier. The lab work would have to wait until the following day to be sent out. 
In the meantime, the doctor pulled out medical books, comparing symptoms and scenarios.  Before leaving for the day, the doctor called the client for an update.  The client said that another horse out in the same pasture was now displaying the same symptoms. The two of them were just swaying and swaggering their way around the field nibbling here and there at the grass. 
The next morning I got myself busy filling out the lab work forms and packaging up the blood work.  As the doctor was sitting down to call the client for an update the client called us.  The office came to a stand still and we listened to what we could of the conversation.  The doctor's face went from stone cold serious, to an eyebrow lifting wonderment, to a smile and then beat red.  There was a lot of laughing and "yes-ing" and it ended in "well that's good".
"Well?" we all asked when she hung up.
The doctor explained that the owner decided to walk the perimeter of their 40 acre pasture when she happened upon a huge heap of clippings that someone had dumped over their fence.  On closer inspection, the owner realized that this was not your typical landscape clippings.  This was some of Humboldt County's special green grass trimmings.  These horses weren't stumbling as much as they were tripping. Their diagnosis was eating weeds and getting a little dopey

This grass is like, so good man! You like, really got to try a bite! Wow!  It's like so green.
After this whole situation we decided that we may have to create a new type of exam to deal with these types of symptoms in the future. The exam would have to include:
  1. Checking the eyes for redness
  2. Playing live Grateful Dead music to observe if the horse does the hippie shuffle dance and likes the 45 minute guitar solo.
  3. Offering the horse a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream to observe if he eats it all without sharing.
  4. Seeing if the horse will engage in a game of hacky sack.
  5. Seeing if the horse would like to jump on a trampoline.
Thanks for reading!  If you would like to be added to my mailing list please email me at Jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com
Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com

14 comments:

  1. hilarious maggie! thanks! nmiller

    ReplyDelete
  2. Laura wrote: "HAHAHA! Oh gosh, I never knew horses would eat Humboldt HOMEGROWN Grass! That's hysterical! Never a dull moment with you Mags!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Karen R. wrote: ":) I know the dog vets see this a lot- but this is the first time I've heard of a high horse! "

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shaelawn wrote: ":))"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Natalie wrote: "OMG....LOL!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kira wrote: "Gotta love humco! "

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mags - You just made my morning! I had to have 2 root canals last week and am about to leave for my regular dentist to get the permanent fillings and begin the restorative stuff (crowns) - dreading the entire ordeal today - your essay definitely brightened up my day!! Looking forward to s eing you in March! xoxo Ansmom

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pretty funny. My 17+ hand TB had a previous owner that used to go to the stables and blow weed up his nose. He looked forward to it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Margaret, this was a good one - I was in wonder trying to figure out what's up with these horses and the answer was (in your vernacular) "all around". In the end, a happy story. By the way, I read every one of your blogs and feel like I'm with you every time. You are so talented and especially in my travels these blogs are a great release from reality. I look forward to seeing you and Casey at Justin's wedding. Love Uncle Jeff

    ReplyDelete
  10. Too funny, Margaret!! Ok, when I was a teenager, my horse stuck her head in a car window (while I was on her) and tried to pull a bag of pot out of a guys lap! Horses must love it?! Oh the guy? He was there... uh... asking for directions.

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's so funny love the list. Well I hope the horses don't get hooked and have to go to horsey rehab and kick the habit. Ha Ha Karen

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great story, too funny. Keep up the good work. love Laura

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ummmmmm..........could you possible send me some..in the post.... strictly to do the "science' of course.
    :)):)):)):))

    Wonderful......... !!!

    Pam

    ReplyDelete

Creative Commons License
Jackson Hill Horsey Girl is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.