When You Get Bed Side Manner

     After fifty eight days of lameness, after three veterinarian visits to the ranch, and all that time off from riding it was time to bring Autumn in to the office for X-rays.   I stalled on bringing her into the office because I was hoping the extra rest would improve her injury.  Lameness in horses is graded on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being flat on all four tires.  Autumn's lameness had deteriorated from a grade 3 in her back right stifle (the area sort of like a knee in the horse's back legs) to a grade 4.  I wrote myself in for an appointment this past Monday.
   I had to work on Monday, so I made arrangements with, my great friend, Cindy to drop Autumn off at my office.  I got Autumn settled in a holding pen until it was her turn to go.  Of course Autumn demonstrated how destructive she could be in front of all my coworkers. She spent the entire afternoon pawing at the newly painted gate, whinnying every time I walked by, pooping all over the place while stomping it into the mats and glaring at everyone who didn't come over to give her pets. That's my girl!
     With fresh green gate paint scuffed on her front hooves we began our lameness exam which quickly moved in to X-raying both of her back stifles.  Autumn was a jitter bug so we had to sedate her for the X-rays.  As I waited for the X-rays to get developed I played with my giant sleepy head's ears and looked into her half closed eyes and assured her that everything was going to be fine.  The X-rays showed some bilateral bony remolding on the medial tibial margin of the joint.  Not getting a clear enough answer the Doctor decided explore her stifles using the ultrasound machine.  He spent close to 45 minutes doing a comprehensive exam just on the one stifle.  Upon finishing he straightened up, switched off the ultrasound machine and said "Well." and then was quiet.  Now I was worried.  He is a blunt man that does not waste anyones time dishing out sugar coated bed side manner while delivering his diagnosis.  That pause was him giving his 100% all at bedside manner or at least him trying to figure out if he was going to have his employee bursting out in tears with his findings.  When he started gently telling me what he found I only heard a word here and there.  "does not fully heal", "six months off" , "may not ever get better", "may be this way the rest of her life", "maybe joint injections to ride at walk"...  Ugh!  Ugh! Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
    I leaned against Autumn until I became coherent again and was able to absorb what he was saying.  The ultrasound revealed that the joint meniscus was bulging out of the joint and was somewhat squashed, with some small areas of calcification in the most superficial part of the meniscus.   He pulled out a book to help me visualize what he was talking about.  Ugh!  He said the best thing we could do now would be to give her six months of pasture rest and then bring her in for a recheck.  He did not want to do any steroid injections into the joint yet because he wanted to see how much healing she could do on her own.  I asked if there were any supplements, exercises, therapies, ANYTHING, I could do to help her and he just shook his head. 
   I pulled Autumn's big head around and told her how much I loved her and she didn't need to worry.  I apologized to her if I was the reason for this injury.  Was it cantering in the arena that time?  Was when we cantered up the hill to follow our friends racing ahead?  Did she do it in the pasture?  Ugh!  I asked the other to doctors at the practice to see what they thought.  Both of them sort of winced when I told them what he found.  One of the doctors suggested giving a supplement to protect and maintain joint health especially since it seems inevitable that she will acquire DJD (degenerative joint disease).  Ugh!
    At first I sucked it up and saw the silver lining.  She's not in pain unless she's charging around.  She can still go out in pasture.  I can still hand walk her on the beach and in the woods with my friends. Besides, during the last few months that she has been lame we have been having fun practicing little obstacle courses by her freely following me around.  I've taught her to pick things up and carry them to me.  I'm even teaching her the ABC's (I read an intriguing book called Beautiful Jim Key , a true story about a horse that could read and spell words).  From the video below you will see maybe it's a good thing we have a lot of time to practice.

  
     Despite being positive I did have my great crash.  When I got her breakfast ready the next day I looked at the saddle I might never need for her.  I looked at my riding boots that I would not be needing.  My heart sank deeper.  I sat on a bucket next to Autumn as she ate and tears just burst out of my eyes.  I couldn't just have the glass half full without realizing it was, at the same time, half empty.  I calmed myself by petting her forelock as she gently watched me.  It would be okay.
     As for now, I am doing a ton of research into this type of injury.  I'm bugging the living hell out of the vets with questions.  I'm going to remain focused on the possibility of her getting better.  In the meantime we are going to work on our ABC and D's.  We will still continue our adventures in life together.  I will love her more each day as I do everything I can do to make her feel better and to make her as comfortable as can be.  Get better Autumn!  I love you girl!

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Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com September 13, 2012