He Says That To All The Ladies- Part 4 of the Save Your Nipples Chronicles

     It was mid morning when my favorite 85 year old dairy farmer came into the office.  He had a twinkle in his eye.  "I got you a gift."  he said in his very thick Portuguese accent.  He presented me with a bag of animal crackers he had hidden behind his back.  "This is for you beautiful ladies at the veterinary hospital."  His flattery blushed our cheeks.  He then shared  his secret on the best way to enjoy these animal crackers.  "You need to smear them with peanut butter and dunk them into hot tea but not for too long.  If you hold them in too long they will get too soggy and fall into the bottom of the cup and when you drink the last sip you will get a mushy blob. That is no good!" he said as he shook his finger as a warning to us.
    I thanked him and told him it was very good timing because it happened to be Susie's birthday.  With that he straightened his back, cleared his throat and  then proceeded to serenad Susie, in Portuguese, the Happy Birthday song.  He ended his song with a bow of his head.  Our Casanova then bid us adieu leaving us rosy cheeked and clutching a bag of animal crackers.


Who can resist?



     A few days later, on Valentine's day, I had to forsake my lunch break to sit in the dentist chair to get a cracked tooth patched up.  I walked into the office and alas, in the waiting room dressed very handsomely, without a speck of cow poop on him, was the Casanova of animal crackers.  I sat down next to him and we passed the time  chatting about what he should get his wife for Valentine's day and the outfits the Brazilian girls were wearing in this year's Carnival parade that he had been watching live on TV this past week.   Eventually, our conversation was cut short when the hygienist dragged me off to the chair.  As I waited for my Novocaine to kick in, I could hear my dairy farmer chatting away in the next room.  "Oh, you have lost weight." he told the hygienist.  Sounding surprised that he noticed, said that she had. 
    "I know. I can tell.  You are very beautiful woman."  
     What?  Was he calling her a beautiful woman just like Susie and myself?  I couldn't help but crack up...more like I... numbly blubbered out spit all over the front of my clipped on bib.  I guess he says that to all the ladies but...he didn't bring them any animal crackers!
 
To catch up on the rest of the Save Your Nipples Chronicles you can click on the links below.
Save Your Nipples
Save Your Nipples Part 2...Yes There Is A Part 2
Shake. Shake. Shake it. Part 3 Of The Save Your Nipples Chronicles

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