Goats in Girdles

Recently, some of our favorite goat clients that live way out in the country stopped by the veterinary hospital.  They are lovely woman who love their goats and are on top of their game when it comes to providing the best care for them.  Their goat had a healthy baby doeling (a baby female goat kid) and for the past few months the two of them have been living the happiest of lives.  But now...the time had arrived to wean the doeling off her mother's milk.  Most people will separate them by taking the baby out of the sight of the mother.  Without a doubt, this is stressful for both the mother and kid and, for that matter, some concerned and loving goat owners.  Our clients said that they had spent hours online searching for ideas to make the weaning process as easy on everyone as possible.  They found an idea which lead them to the local thrift store in town where they picked out a pair of ladies underwear for their momma goat.  The idea was to dress momma in these thrift store unmentionables in order to hide her teats so the doeling would be unable to drink her milk and they wouldn't have to be separated.  Nice and Easy!   Back at ranch they went and dressed momma in her new undergarments and set the new Victoria Secret's model loose in the barnyard.  The hungry little doeling didn't find this fashion show amusing and snatched a mouthful of lingerie and pulled them off, tossing them into the mud.  Famished from the strip tease the baby doeling went back to mom and had some milk. 
Our clients realized that this idea was silly.  How could underwear possibly work being so easy to take off?  They needed something else, something more secure.  They went back into town and came back to the ranch with a... girdle.  They squeezed momma in the girdle, tightened it up and sent her waddling back into the barnyard.  The hungry little doeling declared war on the girdle.  She  fought bravely as she battled the against the garment until finally, it was conquered and lay in the mud.  She won back her mother's teat and toasted to her own victory with her prized milk. 
After the battle of the girdle, our defeated clients decided to come into the office for our advice.  They didn't know what else to do.  They couldn't bear to separate the little family but they knew the doeling had to be weaned off of momma.  After hearing all of their failed attempts I had to admit I didn't have a good answer for them.  I was thinking "Well, if a girdle didn't work what else possibly could?" I did what I normally do at work when I can't answer a question...I ask the professionals...the veterinarian.  I explained the situation and was sure he would either cross his eyebrows, scratch his head or just have a long pause before he spoke but the answer came without hesitation.  "Just put them in pens next to each other where the doeling can't stick her head in and nurse off her momma."   With that he continued to walk into his office. 
The three of us just sort of looked at each other and then just sort of nodded our heads at each other.  They thanked me for all of my help and were off to the hardware to buy planks instead of panties.

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Copyright (c) 2011 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com

Autumn the Philanthropist

This past Saturday, Autumn and I participated in the HERO Ride For Life American Cancer Society Fundraiser Ride...So this means I'll finally stop bugging you guys for donations...well...at least until next year.  Your donations helped Autumn and I raise $1,400.00!  We were the second highest fundraisers for the whole event!  We owe you a HUGE THANKS for your generosity.  Our team, The Hill Fillies, was the second highest earning team at the event raising $3,776.00!!! Not only were be bringing home the bacon but our team also earned first place for being the best dressed at the event. 

Our team...The Hill Fillies...

(From left to right)

Shannon on Goldie, Cindy on Syria (Autumn's BFFH), Me on Autumn, Diane on Poncho, Mary on Willow, Christine on Ginger, Jennifer on Ha'ni.

Not pictured; Marcelle on Gypsy, Emily on Thunder, Nancy the Mule gal, Nancy M. on Mya & Bill Jackson because he's taking the picture.



I had Autumn's adornments picked out weeks ahead of time and had at three dress rehearsals to make sure everything was just right for the event.  On the morning of the ride, it took me over an hour to glam her up.  I braided bunches of powder pink silk roses into her mane with satin pink ribbon.  Her bridle and saddle were decorated in tasseled  ribbons that fluttered in the wind during our ride.  She even had sparkling pink crystal flower bling stickers to decorate her ba dunk-a dunk.   To sum up Autumn's whole appearance our little six year old friend Veda, who is a wonderful  little horse girl, said it best.  She told  Autumn that she looked just like a princess horse.  Autumn loved the compliment and gave Veda a little nuzzle for her nice compliment. 

Autumn proudly wore her saddle pad decorated with all the names of everyone who sponsored our ride.  We had special ribbons to honor the memories of my Grandpa Diemer, Casey's Aunt Debbie and my great friend Skaidra's mother, Christine Scholey that cancer took from us too soon.  We carried ribbons to honor those who kicked or are kicking cancer's butt right now such as my wonderful Aunt Kathleen, my great friend Anne who helped me get Autumn, my spunky Grandma Ahlers and for my good friends Linda & Gordon's cousin Tricia W. F. 

Autumn carried all of us with her on that ride that day and she did a great job to boot.  This was her first major event away from the ranch with lots of unfamiliar horses. I was nervous that this big event coupled with her only being 4 years old might be a bit overwhelming for her but she was amazing.  She walked all day long, never fussing once, never wanting to stop...well except to grab a little grass. 

Not only was Autumn walking for a great cause she was also helping me through one of the toughest days I've had since I moved away from my family in NY.  My little sister, who moved out here last July, left the morning of the ride to go back to NY.  My eyes are burning and welling up right now in Starbucks where I'm writing.  Katy has sat across from me while I have written every one of my blogs up until tonight.  Oh crap, here they go... they're streaming down my face....  I hate not having her here. It's so hard to be without her...  

Okay, deep breath. Sorry about that.  I'm back.

So, sporadically throughout the day Autumn had little tear showers sprinkling on to her mane along with squeaks, sobs and snuffles coming from me on her back.  She carried me along just taking care of me, giving me her big shoulders to cry on.  She took great care of me that day and so did all my girlfriends and my great husband Casey.

I owe some special Thank you's to all my sponsors, to all my friends and to all my family!

Casey...thanks for putting up with all my craft crap everywhere, Katy & Kevin Boops...thanks for doing all the dress rehearsals with Autumn & going to fabric store hell it meant a lot to me, Momma-lou Diemer...thanks for getting all those donations from all your friends for me, Dad Diemer & Rachel & Kieran pants-the cutest-baby brother-ever, Uncle Jeff & Aunt Kathleen Goldstein, Grandma & Grandpa Ahlers, Justin & Sandy Goldstein, Mom Stacy, Meghan & Mike & Patti D'Orizo, Uncle Barry & Aunt Joanne & Decaln & Conor Diemer, Anne & Maggie Caplan, Karen & Anastasia Keller at Scare Crow Farms, Sue & Tommy Giannoni, Grandpa Robert Stacy, Aunt Karlene & Dan Comiskey, James & Skiadra & Digby Bruce, Dawn Friend & Nick & Taz, Lou Anna Phillips & Sweet Pea & Harley,  Joe Losritto, Gerry, Elizabeth "the cookie princess" Thompson & Carmen, Adam Jorgensen Forge & Farrier & Family, Joan & Molly Crandell, Jannine Richey & Family, The Lindstrom Family, Chrisine "Miss Burn's" Richey & Steve the Philosopher, Paul & Susan "the muffin fairy"& Dresden & Dutch & Kayak Silva, Gregory Foray, Hilda Duke, Anna & Joe Grippi, Mary Ann &Robert Costanzo, Steve Foray, Joan & the gals at the Bayport Flower House, Sandy from Allstate, John Forge, Linda & Gordon Taylor, Dr. Branch & Dr. Carlisle from North Coast Veterinary Hospital, Marci & Mike Barnes, Andrea and Dirty Bird Broughton, Peter & Shawn & Eric & Melanie Jackson,  Bill "The Hill Fillies groom sent from heaven" & Garrot & Dane & Jillian Jackson, all the donors who filled my jar at the vet office, Cindy & Chris at Cindy With the Herd Farms...thanks for the ride to the ride!, Syria for being Autumn's main support, Diane & Randy & Poncho & Mckenzie Baxter, Nancy Powers & Shannon St Clair, Jennifer & Ha'ni, Marcelle & Gypsy, Emily & Thunder, Mary & Willow, Christine & Ginger, Nancy & Mya...

A big thanks to everyone that hosted the HERO event!  You all did a great job! The whole event that day earned $20,135.00!!! Not bad! Thank you Diana and Holly LaCount!

...and the biggest thank you of all goes to Autumn!  I love you Autumn!  You are the greatest!

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Thanks for reading!

Copyright (c) 2011 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com

Love or a Carrot?

You guys are awesome!!!  The donations for the HERO Ride for Life,  American Cancer Society Fundraiser ride that Autumn and I are doing this Saturday (5/7/11) have been overwhelming and generous.  I am going to do a special blog to thank all you super great folks next week!  We are just about at our goal.  If you haven't had a chance to donate it's not to late.  You can still drop off donations at the vet office or the ranch up until Friday.  Everyone who has donated has a special ribbon sewn on Autumn's saddle pad for the ride so we'll all be riding that day together.

Here's a section of Autumn's saddle pad with our supporters proudly displayed.



Autumn Loves Me

Sometimes, I wonder if Autumn loves me or she just wants a treat. When I call out for her, unseen, in the enormous forested pasture and I hear her whinny as she explodes out of the trees galloping right up to me...well, it makes me wonder... is it for the treat I always keep in my pocket or is she just happy to see me?

Waking up late a few mornings ago, I had to do the mad dash to feed both of the barns, leaving me fifteen minutes to find Autumn in the upper pasture.  I prayed she wasn't in the upper arena on the top of the mountain a.k.a the nose bleed section.  I scooted up the bank of the heart shaped pond and spotted her...in the nose bleed section.  With all the huffing and puffing, stopping to catch my breath and cursing out the mountainside it usually takes me fifteen minutes to drag myself up there. I had to make a decision. Either, I could just wave to her and spend the extra time sitting in my car and staring out into space before work or...I could suck it up, charge up that mountain without stopping and whinning and see my horse.  So, that's what I did. Autumn watched me scramble my way up to her and waited patiently until I delivered her carrot while gasping for air.  She took the carrot and...walked away. I was crushed.  That's it?  My lungs were burning, I was soaked in sweat and I didn't even get a nuzzle? 
The rejection dragged me down the mountain and made plunge into the vertical pit of a crappy a day. 
I was pretty busy feeling cheap and used for a carrot when I heard a little shuffle behind me.  I turned around a few feet behind me was Autumn peaking around a tree.  What? Was one carrot not enough?  I waited for her to catch up and nudge her nose toward my pockets.  She didn't budge.  She just stood there trying to hide her enormous head behind a skinny tree trunk.  I told her I loved her and started back down the trail. "Shuffle, shuffle..." I stopped and turned around. There she was about the same distance away from me but, now, without a tree to hide behind, she lowered her head to the ground looking as though she was trying to make herself as small as possible standing as still as a stone. Again, I waited for her to come up to me and give me the carrot frisk but she just stood there. I walked on and the shuffling started behind me.  I sped up and so did the shuffling.  Then I hit the brakes, turned around as fast as I could and caught her as she slid to a stop and froze like a bronze statue of a horse a few feet behind me.  It was so cute. We peek-a-boo'ed all the way down the mountain to the gate. She hid behind scrawny trees and bushes that only came up to her knees. I was pretty convinced that she was pretty convinced that I couldn't see all 1800 pounds of her hiding behind a patch of milk weed that she had her nose tucked into. It was so cute and so fun playing with her that it pulled my crappy day right out of the pit and made it one of my best days in a long time. 
When we arrived at the gate, I was pretty sure she was expecting me to take her back to the barn for some breakfast. I was already feeling guilty about leaving her there,all alone crushing her hopes of having a nice little breakfast of oats and hay in her comfy stall.  I gave her a big hug, told her I loved her a million times and that I had so much fun with her and then...she turned around and walked away.  She stopped about ten feet away turned and looked at me thoughtfully and started back up the mountain again.  Then I knew...she does love me!

Copyright(c) 2011 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com

The "It's As Bad As It Sounds" Job

There is only one procedure at the veterinary hospital I work at that I really don't like doing and that's when I have to be...the ejaculator assistant. Yeah, it's as bad as it sounds.  So, what does an ejaculator assistant do?  Well, in a nut shell, I have to take a torpedo shaped rubber device that is the length and size of your forearm and insert it into a bull's behind.  When it is in place, the ejaculator will stimulate him and  cause him to ejaculate. The doctor will then collect the semen sample and look at it under the microscope to assess the semen's shape, count how many are present and see if they're skooting around like normal semen should. Who cares about all that?  Bull buyers, that's who. Buying and selling good breeding stock bulls is a serious business.  People spend a lot money on these animals and rely on them to breed their cows and produce viable offspring.  When they spend that kind of money they want to make sure those boys aren't shooting blanks.  With their bulls semen tested, owners can show potential buyers the test results and guarantee that their bull's "guns are fully loaded".
When I do this procedure I always feel like I'm going at the bull with an "only one thing on my mind" approach as I stick that thing up his rear end and stimulate him without even getting to know him first. I usually try to take my lunch or pass that procedure on to someone else when I see it on the appointment book. But there's no getting out of it when Betty and Bud make an appointment. Betty and Bud, who are in their 80's, raise black Angus bulls and steers that they sell locally and haul to sales.  I've driven by and seen the two of them tossing hay out the back of their pick up during massive winter rainstorms feeding their cattle.  I've watched Bud hooking up irrigation pipes in their pastures during the summer months.  Together they fix fences, move cattle and they'll even drive six hours south, after feeding in the morning, to sell a few bulls, then turn right around to make it home in time to feed that same night.  Those two are some movers and shakers. 
Betty and Bud, well, they took a liking to me and when they want to bring their bulls in to be semen tested they won't let anyone assit the doctor but me. Those two think that I'm pretty special and have that je ne sais quoi...that certain something... to make their bulls prove to the world that they are all BULL.  If I'm not going to be at work on the day they want an appointment, they will hold off and make it for a day that I will be there. If I call in sick because I drank too much tequila the night of my 31st birthday and they have an appointment... I take handful of aspirin, chug some Gatorade and I drag my butt to the office for their appointment, stimulate their bulls then crawl back home and die. 
I always enjoy chatting with them in between ejaculating their bulls.  Bud will talk about his time in England during WWII.   Betty always dressed nicely with her hair done and makeup on, will watch over the doctor's shoulder as he measures their bull's scrotum size. They will tell me about their little date nights out to hear music and suggest some places I should check out.  It's always real nice to be around a couple of folks who have stayed together all these years and are still in love.  
You should see the two of them when a bull happens to blow a big load of crap in my face.  They think it's the funniest thing.  It gets even better for them when I try to wipe the poop off my face with my sleeve that I didn't realize had more poop on it and end up smearing more poop all over my face. I've been afraid they might drop dead from laughing so hard when that has happened.  It always cracks me up seeing those two hard working old folks lighten up. 
When my job as assistant ejaculator is done for the day, I give the bull a pat on the butt and apologize to him for being so forward.  Then I go look for something to wipe the poop off my face and call it a day.

Thanks again to everyone who has donated to the HERO Ride for Life Cancer Fundraiser Autumn and I are doing on Saturday May 7th.  There's still time to make a donation if you haven't had a chance yet.  Just email me at jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com for where to send the donation.  You guys have really been generous and Autumn & I thank you so much!

If you would like to be added to the Jackson Hill Horsey Girl mailing list to be notified for new postings, please email me at Jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com

Copyright (c) 2011 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com

The Sea Shore Through Autumn's Eyes

Autumn's mane dancing up in the wind  like flames in a flickering fire.

Just like any kid, Autumn loves the beach. When we go down the road and head towards Cindy's house Autumn's ears perk up.  That's when she decides to take over and drag me past the gate and up to Cindy's horse trailer.  Cindy can barely get the ramp of the trailer down before Autumn, with me still in tow, will load herself up. After she squeezes herself in a space made for two normal sized horses, she has to sniff Syria, her BFFH (best friend forever horse), over before she buries her head into her hay bag and then...she's ready to rock and roll.  Half an hour later the two BFFHs are rolling around in the sand.  One day when the horses decided to roll with us on top of their backs, Cindy and I quickly made a new rule... always let the horses roll before we ride not when we ride.  1850 pounds of Autumn rolling around on top of you is not a day at the beach, so I think it's a great rule.

Autumn loving life...for some reason she looks like a baby pony rolling around in this photo.

Two weekends ago we finally got a break in the weather and Cindy, me and the BFFH's were back on the beach.  The sun reflected the clouds and blue sky on the glazed wave washed sand.  Autumn stepped on the clouds and into the waves.  She marched into the surf, waves breaking at her knees and stopped to watch some men digging for clams.  She blinked at them thoughtfully her head following them as they poked around in the sand for clams.  She lost interest in the clamers and sloshed back onto the beach to investigate some beached logs.  Conveniently for Autumn, this tree that had been swept down a river, into the ocean and was now washed up on the beach was just the perfect thing to scratch an itch on her chin. With her itch scratched she decided that she wanted to cut through the dunes and follow the river.  She blinked and wondered at a flock of bathing seagulls that fluttered, splashed and squawked in the river. 

The river followed us back to the ocean and the horses began to dance underneath us.  "Well?" I asked Cindy. 

"Yeah!" said Cindy.

Syria and Autumn knew what we were talking about and we were off! The horses raced down the beach with Cindy and I yippy-yi-yay'ing past the breaking surf.  Autumn held her pace while I leaned back in the saddle and watched the clouds canter away from me.  As the horses began to slow Cindy and I were already talking about how this was one of the greatest rides ever. 

Then Autumn stopped.  Why are you stopping girl?  She seemed alright, I gave her a little leg to urge her forward but nothing, she wouldn't budge. She was staring very intently at something but there wasn't anything down the beach except crow close by eating a gangley clam.  She lowered her head all the way to the sand, making herself as tiny as possible and then began to inch her way toward him.  She was just a nose away from touching him before he hopped off a few steps.  Again she tipped toed toward him and right before she could touch him he hopped off again.  When he started to fly a little distance away that's when she got real excited and she would be after him again.   This went on in a zig zag pattern down beach for quite a few minutes before he had enough.  He flew back to his clam and Autumn turned to watch her little buddy go.  We headed back as the clouds began to blow over us. The wind caught a hold of Autumn's mane and made it dance up like flames in a flickering fire.  What a fun day it was having Autumn take me along with her for a day at the sea shore.

Thank you  to everyone that has made a donation for the HERO RIDE FOR LIFE Fundraiser Horse Back Ride to Support the American Cancer Society!  You guys have been so generous!  We're half way to our goal of raising $1,000.  If you would like to make a donation email me at jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com . 
To learn more about our ride read our blog http://jacksonhillhorseygirl.blogspot.com/2011/04/riding-for-cure-for-cancer.html.   Thanks for your support! Margaret & Autumn

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Copyright (c) 2011 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com

Sundays with Autumn

I just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to read my stories and  for all your great comments & emails.  They are so encouraging and keep me writing!  If you are new to the blog and would like to be on my email list just send your email to jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com (all emails will be kept confidential)

Okay...Now I'm going to beg, again, for donations for the relay ride to raise money for the American Cancer Society on Saturday May 7^th 2011 that Autumn and I are going to do.  Read more about it and how to make a donation on my blog: http://jacksonhillhorseygirl.blogspot.com/2011/04/riding-for-cure-for-cancer.html.  Thanks!

Okay Now The Story....

Sundays With Autumn

If you were to show up at the barn on a Sunday morning, you wouldn't be surprised to hear Sunday Morning Baroque blasting off the crappy alarm clock radio in the feed room.  And you wouldn't be surprised to see me sitting in a lawn chair in Autumn's stall sipping on a cup of tea while reading or writing in my journal with Autumn eating contentedly beside me.  Sometimes, when the weather gets nice, I'll open Autumn's stall door and drag my chair after her as she decides which greener pasture to graze in.

The above photo was taken from my lawn chair this past Sunday.  I was keeping myself busy writing in my journal when I just sort of spaced out.  The sun was warm on our spot on the mountain and the rawness of the winter rains evaporated around us.  The south wind swayed the pine boughs into a rolling hula dance.  Below us, the clouds sat and rested on the town,  in a sleep-in-a-little-later fog.  New grass glowed.  The first normally nuisance blooming weed of the spring, Milkweed, looked like the prettiest pale purple and yellow flowers I had ever seen. Eight different melodies harmonized around us from the newly returned songbirds hidden in their trees.  
The songs, the wind, the grass, the flowers, me in my lawn chair with Autumn happily grazing beside me above the clouds I thought  "man, this is the life!" 
Copyright (c) 2011 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com

The First Ride

This is one of our first few rides!

The days grew shorter on the ranch as fall drew near, bringing with it Autumn's 3rd birthday.  The once overflowing heart-shaped pond had dried up into a lumpy looking potato.  As summer passed Autumn and I watched the purple forest clover stop itself in the shadows of the redwoods, as a carpet of sunshiny buttercups spread itself across the meadows, which eventually fell underneath waving oceans of daises. Prickly purple thistles pushed their way through August and were lost in the Queen Anne's Lace of early fall that tried it's hardest to dress up the dry and dusty landscape.  The cool autumn breezes rattled the skeletons of the headless thistles in the song of the coming winter rains. In lace patterned sunlight, I would walk with Autumn under the trees daydreaming about someday riding her in the forest we now walked.
Then one night I just sort of walked into my dream...
It was around 8pm when I found myself driving home (before I lived on the ranch) one night after a long day of taking a class and running errands.  I wasn't planning on stopping at the ranch but as I was passing the exit I thought "what the hell?".  I pulled up to the barn, grabbed a pocket knife and skirted down the dark, little path that led to the pasture, hoping that there weren't any mountain lions ready to pounce and rip the paranoia right out of me.  It was foggy but the meadow glowed under the white light of the moon, three days shy of being full. 
I whispered for Autumn, not wanting to disturb the stillness of the night.  My plan was not to go into the woods to find her if she wasn't in the meadow.  I wandered around starting to give up hope as I drew near to the forest's edge. But then...I faintly saw the blaze on Autumn's face floating towards me silently as if the moonlight was drawing her out of the darkness to me.  Her eyes held more light than the moon and the excitement of being with my horse spread over me.  She stood next to me on the hillside while the little girl inside me, who had watched the "Black Stallion" probably more times than is healthy, grabbed a handful of mane and attempted to swing a leg over her back.  Well...that night I discovered that I was no John Wayne when it came to swinging up on to a horse...  I ended up giving the poor girl a good kick in the side.  Despite my unintentional abuse, Autumn stood there with the forgiving patience of a saint.  I decided to spare her another beating, gave her a hug and we headed for the gate.  
We were half way across the meadow when Autumn stopped next to a slight embankment on the hillside.  She lined herself right below me in perfect sliding-a-leg-over-her-back position...and that's what I did!  I got on my baby horse Autumn!  There we were in the middle of a dream.  I almost pinched myself but when Autumn turned and touched each of my dangling feet, I knew that it wasn't a dream.   On her own she decided to take us for a walk and I held on to her mane the way a child holds onto their mother's skirt for security. 
After a little ways, she stopped walking to check out my legs again and even bit my shoe.  I sat there then and I sit here now and I can still feel her big warm body beneath me.  I leaned down, hugged her big giant neck and rested my face in the waves of her moon lit mane.   All around us in the glow of the fog, I rode my best friend Autumn in the clouds of a real life dream.  She walked us to the pasture gate, where I gave her one last hug and stole every second on her to keep forever in my memories.  I slid off of her reluctantly, not wanting that first ride to ever end.  When my feet touched the ground I bounced around like like a teeny bopper at a Justin Bieber concert. With Autumn at my side we headed up the hill to the barn together, the two of us sparkling from our adventure in the clouds.

Thanks to everyone who has been taking the time to read my blogs! I really love all the comments! Keep them coming!
If you would like to be on my blog mailing list email me at jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com .  And, please pass the blog on to anyone you think might like it.
 I finally figured out how to make it easier for people to leave a comment.  Now all you have to do is to is go to "Post a comment"at the end of the post.  Write your comment, go to "Comment as" click on the box next to it and it gives you a few choices.  The easiest choices are at the bottom "name/URL" or "Anonymous".  You'll have to unscramble a word (helps cut down on spam).  Then "Post" the comment. 

Copyright (c) 2011 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com