Scrub Top of Sin

   I had been wearing the same three scrub tops (shirts worn at veterinary/medical jobs) at the veterinary hospital for months now.  It was time to mix it up. I dug in the scrub top pile and found one I had not worn in years...the cat scrub top.  I used to wear that thing every time I mowed the lawn until we got a landscaper.  The scrub top had faded a bit with the passing of time but the kaleidoscope of cats involved in cat shenanigans was ever present.  I put it on and modeled it for Susie who had never seen it before.  Her look told me that she wished that I kept it that way.  She asked if I was seriously going to wear that all day.  The answer was yes.  Yes, that I was 35 and I was going to wear a shirt with a collage of cats and kittens all over it at my horse and livestock veterinary job, helping our rough and tumble conservative cattle ranchers, cowboys and dairymen in it. 
      I had brought in clean towels from the laundry room to fold in the lab.  The doctor was studying the results of a milk culture on the opposite side of the room.  As I set the laundry basket on the counter it knocked the hand lotion over.  It fell into the sink, pump first, and shot out giant wad of lotion that split into two wads in mid-flight.  One blob landed on the doctor's shoulder and the other just missed nailing him in the head and gacked the cabinet behind him.  Susie pointed, laughed and cried as I stood there frozen.  When nothing happened, I got a paper towel and wiped the goo off of the doctor's shoulder as he continued not to look up.  It took Susie about a half hour to stop laughing. 
    Later we got a call from one of our older beef clients.  They had a cow that was not wanting to get up in the pasture.  The doctor told me that I was going with him.  The couple were in their eighties and he thought it would be good to have an extra hand to help out, even if they were wearing a scrub top with kittens on it.  The rancher's wife showed us the cow who jumped up when she saw us and gave us a wild eyed head toss.  We decided to get her into a smaller space to work on her safely.  We got all the right gates opened to channel her into the chute.  The rancher came out to join us.  He navigated the mud well enough with his cane to make it out to the pasture to where the cow was again laying down.  As we cautiously approached her, she jumped to her feet and stared down the doctor and took a few running warning steps at him.  The doctor said that he was going to get a stick to swat her with if she decided to charge at him.  I stayed at a safe, run for the hills, distance from her.  The rancher, though, continued on.  The cow put her head down and charged the rancher.  She crashed into him, knocked him to the ground and then charged down the doctor.  He jumped up on some old farm equipment as she bashed her head below him.  I ran over to the rancher to help him up, ready to grab his cane and give her the 3:00 in the school yard lesson if she decided to come back for more.  Luckily, she ran through the fence into the next pasture.   Thank goodness everyone was okay and the rancher had only a few scrapes.  We decided that the cow was miraculously cured just by the mere presence of doctor.  We called it a day.  
   When we got back to the office we told the wreck of an appointment story to everyone.  We all agreed that the whole day just had some bad ju ju about it.  That's when Susie pointed at me and said, "It's the cats! As soon as you put that thing on that's when it all started!" 
    I took it off and tossed it in the hamper just in case it was the cause and then sort of forgot about it.  A few days later, when folding the laundry, I came across the cat scrub top.  I took it out and slipped it on.  I told Susie to take my picture in it for the blog. 

Look what the cat dragged in. 

      I had it on for about one minute and thirty five seconds, give or take, before I took off the voodooed garment.  The doctor left the office for an appointment and a half hour later we got a call that her patient had crushed her foot and broke her toe.  Susie then had to leave because her horse wasn't feeling well and had to have the doctor go see him.  The whole day just kept filling up with, family emergencies, people bumping heads and just plain bad luck.  When the doctor returned to the office she made it clear that the cat scrub top was never to be worn again. 
     I thought back to the past when I would mow the lawn in the cat scrub top.  I did not recall any phenomenal bad luck in it except for the last time I wore it.  It was a bright sunny day, about four years ago.  I was happy to be out of the office mowing.  I was on my last lap when I had that funny feeling that I was being watched.  I looked over toward the chain link fence.  Through the trees I saw a man looking at me intensely with his pants down and well...entertaining himself.  I stopped mowing, cursed him out, went into the office and called the police.  I was so mad and grossed out by the whole situation.  My friend Amanda, who worked there at the time and loved to find silver linings told me that I should look at it as a compliment.  That's quite a compliment for a woman mowing the lawn wearing a kitten shirt. I never mowed the lawn in the cat scrub top again.
    I decided to take a closer look at the cat scrub top for some clues that could reveal the mystery of its darkness.

What cryptic message do these cats hold?

     There were fat cats, stoned looking cats, angry looking cats, proud looking cats... There it was plain as day!  These cats were all, obviously, indulging in the seven deadly sins; lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.  I referenced the "What Christians Want to Know" website for a refresher on the exits to humanity's highway to hell.  After reading their site I was 100% sure, without a doubt, that this was the scrub top of sin.

Lust

A sinful ménage a trois.  Notice the heathen kitten to the right joining in, licking the black cat's ear.

 

Gluttony

The middle cat hasn't missed any fancy feasts lately.

Greed

This is my kitten bitches.

Sloth

No explanation needed.

Wrath

Cat's got your tongue?  How about your tail?

Envy

Green eyed monster! 

Pride

This cat knows he's too good for this scrub top.

     Like a Judas Priest record played backwards, I had been sublimely spreading the messages of the dark side through kittens sewn by the threads of sin.  Cat-in-hell-chance I'll ever wear that thing again.

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Copyright (c) 2014 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com March 15, 2014