Whips, Avocados and Coupons

    We lucked out when we first moved across the country and found a little run down cottage to live in close to the college.   There were five little cottages all clustered together in our little culdesac in a suburban neighborhood. Over the next two years we got to know our neighbors who all worked from home.  
    Occasionally, I would unfortunately walk outside and into our amazonian neighbor who would be strolling around the fence-less yard buck naked with her boobs sagging in the wind in her wool socks and Birkenstocks.  Of course, this is when she would love to come on over and strike up a conversation and talk about anything except what she did for a living.  On one occasion, while I was inside putting laundry away, she was wandering outside on a business call.  I listened in as she asked what seemed to be legit business type questions..."Where are you from?  How did you hear about me?..." and then they started to get a bit strange..."How old are you?  Have you ever done this before?  What are your fantasies?"  Then she wandered back to her house. What are your fantasies??? What? Wait?  
     Well, when some "normal" looking dad type guy pulled in front of my house it all came together.  He got out of the car and removed a duffel bag from the back seat.  Sticking out of the bag was a black leather whip with tassels hanging off.  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...Okay, What are your fantasies?  I get it.
    Our other neighbors across the way that always had their shades pulled and were always stoned were pretty nice.  One time, they left a note tacked on our front door saying that they had removed a chihuahua sized rat from behind the dryer in the laundry room that appeared to like avocados and our socks.  That was very neighborly of them to take care of that.  They even left our socks folded on the dryer. It wasn't too long after that, that they got kicked out for growing weed in the house.   
   One perk of living in our little country ghetto was that, once a month,  a Victoria Secret promo coupon would come in the mail addressed to an old tenant, Rafaela or Current Resident.  In the mailer would be a coupon for free underwear with no purchase necessary!  So, for two years, I was the Current Resident wearing another girl's free underwear.  

Sucks for you Rafaela!  If this current resident gets into an accident she is going to be wearing your free underwear!

   After two years of living in the bondage, drug growing, lingerie infested neighborhood with the rat with a sock fetish, we alas departed.  Now, we live without free underwear and sadomasochists on the ranch and we're dealing with it.  

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Copyright (c) 2013 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com September 25, 2013