Saying Goodbye

     Autumn and I lost a very close little horse friend, Carmen, last weekend.  She was a dainty little bay Arabian that cantered on air on the tips of her twinkle hooves across the mountain pastures.  Autumn weighed over three times as much as her little friend but that didn't stop Carmen from keeping her in line. 
    When Autumn first met Carmen, she was at the bottom of the pecking order being the youngest horse in the pasture.  Carmen was one of the popular girls and didn't have time to put up with baby Autumn and would chase her off if she came near.  As the years passed Carmen had to have an eye removed due to an injury.  After she had healed from her surgery she was turned back out in pasture.  When she went out to her herd of friends they all swished her away.  There was only one horse that let her come close and that was Autumn.  Autumn, not used to Carmen coming up to her to be nice got scared and blasted Carmen right in the shoulder and got out of her way.  I almost died thinking Autumn broke her shoulder or something.  Autumn stood wide eyed looking at Carmen like why aren't you kicking my ass back like normal? Carmen stood there like Want to hang out? and then that was it.  They became best friends forever...with no broken bones.  Carmen and Autumn could always be found together grazing happily in the pasture.  If they were turned out separately they would whinny to each other.  I grew to know Carmen's call for her and her owner knew Autumn's as well.  
    Not only did Autumn and Carmen become closer but so did my relationship with her owner, Elizabeth.  We would take the girls for rides at first light.  We would ride through the freezing winter rains.  We rode at the beach.  We would zigzag through the forest up to the top of the mountain to see the ocean and the river below.  We rode through seas of waving daises in the summer.  Autumn and Carmen let us talk politics, aliments, news, travel dreams and blah, blah, blah.  It was always great fun. 
     Carmen would follow Autumn and I as we rode the trails if Elizabeth was not around.  She would sometimes lag behind to eat some grass and canter to catch up when she lost sight of us.  I would bring her to my house with Autumn to help mow my lawn. 

My favorite lawn mowers! Autumn is on the left and Carmen is on the right.

     One time I took her to the arena when I was working Autumn at liberty and set her loose.  I practiced having Autumn go over obstacles and when she did something correct I would give her a treat.  As I was focused on Autumn I happened to notice Carmen going over some of the obstacles and when she decided that she had done them correctly she came up to me and waited for her treat.  That was Carmen. 
     Carmen and Autumn were always there for each other when they were sick or hurt.  When Autumn injured her stifle and couldn't go out in the pasture and had to stay on flat ground, Carmen was there to keep her company.  Whenever Carmen got some weirdo aliment when her owner went out of town Autumn was there for her. 

Carmen (right) there for her best friend, Autumn, as she was recovering from her stifle injury.

    Sadly, a few weeks ago Carmen got sick.  She had to go to the veterinary hospital for treatment for a few days and returned back to the stable.  I hurried and brought Autumn in from the pasture to see her best friend.  I lead Autumn up to her stall.  Carmen poked her little head through the door.  They gently brought their muzzles close to each other not quite touching and they sort of just... I don't really know how to explain it.  They embraced each other in their breathing.  I could feel it.   Carmen gave Autumn her peacefulness and Autumn understood.  When they finished Autumn quietly went to her stall. I didn't understand at the time why it seemed so serious a greeting for her friend finally being at home.  I sat in Autumn's stall on an overturned bucket to read my book and I just started to cry.  I just had a funny feeling that overwhelmed me.   Autumn, stopped eating and nuzzled my cheek.  She wiggled her little lip until I wiped my eyes and pet her face.  Autumn.  Her soul leaves me speechless at times. 
     A few days later, Carmen had to go back to the hospital, with Elizabeth by her side for another week. Then she came home one last time to say goodbye to her friends.  When she came back to the ranch, the fog cleared for a blue skied, mountain embraced, daisy dotted day.   Autumn and her shared the pen together and the rest of her horse buddies were in the pens around her.  Carmen chased Autumn away from the hay spread around and looked very pleased with herself.  She was happy to be with her friends, horses and people.  As the day began to set the veterinarian came to give Carmen her peace.  Autumn was their as Carmen left her for her new pasture in the sky. 
     I cried because of my loss of my little friend that I loved like Autumn.  I cried for my friend Elizabeth who lost her best friend that she loved and cared for so deeply.  I cried for Autumn who lost her great friend that she loved and trusted so much. 

Goodbye Carmen.  We love and miss you so much! 

This is a song by the Drive By Truckers Little Pony And The Great Big Horse that reminded me of Autumn and Carmen.

My friend Lisa B. sent me this poem when her great friend Dakota, whom she loved so much, passed away.

Don’t Cry for the horses
That life has set free
A Million White horses
Forever to be.
Don’t cry for the horses
Now in God’s hands
As they dance and they prance
To a heavenly band
They were ours as a gift
But never to keep
As they close their eyes
Forever to sleep
Their spirits unbound
On silver wings they fly.
A million white horses against the blue sky.
Look up in the heavens you’ll see them above.
The horses we lost
The horses we loved.
Manes and tails flowing
They gallop through time
They never were yours
They were never mine
Don’t cry for the horses
They will be back someday
When our time has come
They will show us the way.
Do you hear that soft nicker close your ear?
Don’t cry for the horses
Love the ones that are here
~author unknown

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Copyright (c) 2013 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com July 24, 2013