Pinned

     Autumn has been a tyrant lately.  I tried blaming it on her time of the month but her time of the month has turned into a month and a half.  She pins ears flat against her head whenever another horse enters into her peripheral vision.  I have desperately tried to manually push her ears back into a happier position with no avail.  I thought about trying to borrow the jaws of life from the local fire department to pry them upright again. 
    When horses are lead by her stall she has started chomping her teeth at them!  It mortifies me.  It's so embarrassing to watch Autumn terrorize my friends and their horses as they rush past her. 
     This behavior doesn't just plague us in the barn.  Out in pasture she slams those iron, pissy ears back against her head while she snaps her tail at other horses as she walks past them, burrying them six feet under with her look of death.  She chases down any horse that is "below" her in the pecking order.  She has turned into what she once feared...the bully!  I can't believe my kid is the resident browbeater. 
     Not only is she picking on the other horses but she has also been assaulting me with "the look".  It feels like daggers are being plunged into my chest if she feels like it's time for me to give her a cookie.  Things have been getting bad enough with her black mood that I have been sort of dreading her.  Oh Autumn!  What is going on?
    This morning, as I cleaned stalls while Autumn ate in angst, I began to think back to when I first noticed this black cloud creeping over her.  It was in June.  I started taking on a lot of extra horse sitting jobs at the ranch before and after my job at veterinary hospital.  Morning work has begun around 5am and stretched out to around 7 or 8 pm without much time spent with Autumn.  She has watched me sprint from horse to horse, turning them out, grooming, feeding, watering them and leaving her care last and rushed with me exhausted.  There has not been time to practice any groundwork or new tricks.  We have not gone on any rides because of her injury. To top it off my brain had said goodbye to ground control nine months ago when I started treatment for my Lyme's Disease.  When I have had time with her my thoughts are off with the starman in the sky.  A lot of things have changed in the past few months for us.  I kind of feel that if I had big pointed ears sticking out of my head I'd be pinning them back at everyone too.  Too much work, too exhausted, too spacey, too rushed, too spread out. 
    I finished my chores this morning and got Autumn out of her stall.  I tied her lead rope into a set of reins on her halter, led her up to the big mounting stump and slid on her back.  She turned her head to me with a soft happy look and content ears.  I asked her to walk, to stop, to back, to turn here and there.  I thanked her and pet her after each thing I asked and she just began to beam.  She was doing everything perfect.  I didn't need to use the reins.  She moved with my eyes and shifts in my weight.  The more I praised her the better she did.  I rode her to the end of the short driveway and we stopped to watch the sun rise over the ridge.  There we stood, the warm light washing the darkness into our shadows.  Her breathing meditated through my anxiety allowing us to be together in a moment that felt timeless. 

    That little five minute ride made me realize that I need to slow down and have some fun with my horse again. 

I'd like to thank Pam (aka Snowdrops) whom after reading our last blog When A Horse Leads You To Water made this great picture!

I think it captures last week's blog perfectly!  I think we need to make some tee shirts out of this. :-)

Thank you for reading!  Happy Veteran's Day to all of our soldiers and veterans out there!  Don't forget our soldiers overseas during the holidays and all the sacrifices they have had to make for us.  There are a lot of great ways to help them on such sites as www.anysoldier.com or www.woundedwarriorproject.org . 

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Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com November 14, 2012

When A Horse Leads You To Water

     Autumn is pulled to the water the way the moon tugs on the tides.  Whether it be a pond, a river, the ocean, a creek, a trough or water tanks she has to pay her respects.  She will start with a drink, which if it is allowable, will turn into a splash that can sometimes lead into a joyful roll, or even a refreshing swim.
     When we visit the shore, the ocean inevitably lures Autumn into its waves with me towed behind in her wake.  Mesmerized by the swirling sea, she watches the white foam as it babbles around her.  Seafaring nostalgia stirs up salt water memories of my life with these great waters.  I know as the waves break over us that it will carry new memories back out to the sea.

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.
~e.e. Cummings

    After five years together, I've noticed that Autumn takes great comfort of having me present when she drinks.  I'm not sure if this has to do with some sort of deep rooted fear of being vulnerable to predators when drinking.  The first time I became aware of it was when she was turned out in pasture during the winter months.  I went out to check on her relying on the light of the moon and the stars to reveal her blaze in its blue glow.  After some hello pets she stopped eating her hay, walked a few steps, stopped and then looked back at me.  I walked up to her and again, she walked a few step and then stopped to make sure I was still following her.  She then proceeded to lead me down the hill into the draw where the pond was set, surrounded by the steep and thickly tangled forest.  She slowed her pace until she was walking with her head next to my shoulder.  A few strides away from the water's edge she stopped in the shelter of my shadow.  I went up to the pond and splashed my foot into the pond.  After seeing that I didn't get my head torn off by a mountain lion, Autumn made her way up to the pond.  She dipped her muzzle into the cool clear water.  The full moon made the bottom of the pond glow clear. The glow took away the surface of the pond and it appeared that Autumn was drinking the moonlight.  Ripples from her drinking sent the only shadows to contrast the water from the light.  We were immersed in the peacefulness and stillness of the water intertwined in the  moon's light.  As Autumn drank in this celestial elixir, other horses from the herd felt safe enough to drink as well. 

No one can see their reflection in running water.
It is only in still water that we can see” -Taoist Proverb

     On countless occasions we have performed this same ritual... me following Autumn to the pond until we get close enough for me, the guinea pig, to continue alone until she was sure I wasn't eaten by any monsters, then she would proceed to have her drink and lastly with the herd seeing that we had survived, they would come and join us for some libations. 
     The cute thing is, Autumn just doesn't do this in the pasture.  She also does it in her stall.  Before I leave for the night, she will walk over to her water bucket, stop and look at me.  I walk over to her and pet her while she has her bed time drink.  I watch her ears flick back and forth with each gulp reminding me of someone having to hand pump water from a well.  When she's had enough she gives me a drippy wet nuzzle and settles back into finishing her hay for the night.

Here's a video clip of Autumn's little pump ear's going.

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Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com November 7, 2012