Tree Hugger or Something Like That

     When the end of the summer draws to a close and the grass has been grazed we sometimes get visited by the neighboring ranch's cattle.  Besides some mooing, the cattle pretty much just graze and mind their own business until our neighbors come over to round them up. 
     On one particular day, I headed to the pasture to bring Autumn in.  I gave a whistle which usually sends her running to gate to greet me but, nothing happened.  I figured that she couldn't hear me, so I headed over the hill to hunt her down.  It didn't take me long to find Autumn and the rest of the herd lined up, facing the back fence line.  I gave Autumn another whistle and didn't even get a flicker of an ear.  That was strange.  I walked towards the herd and that's when a I heard a strange low bugling sound.  I came up next to Autumn and followed her stare towards what sounded like a second grader who just got assigned their clarinet for band practice.  There on the other side of the fence line was a bull making love to a bush.  Like the horses, I stood there frozen unable to look away.  I wanted to look away from this consummation between bush and bull but I couldn't. I had to see how this was going to end.

You have very beautiful leaves and your branches are so low.  Do you come here often?  I'm a Taurus.  What's your sign?

     The bush snapped and splintered under the motion of the bull's ocean.  By the time he was done there wasn't a bush left. 

Was it good for you?

     He didn't make any promises as he plopped out a cow pie next to the bush with benefits.  He headed back up the hill.  He never even looked back.

Call me!

    The horses and I watched him until he was out of our sight and then it was back to business.  The horses wandered off to graze and Autumn followed me back to the gate.  But it wasn't back to business for the bush.  There she lay...crushed and alone, next to a pile of bull sh!t. 

Thanks for reading!  Thanks to the readers that have been forwarding my blogs on to friends and posting it on their facebook pages!  We are getting a lot of new readers thanks to you!
I'd like to thank Pam for making me a "blinkie" ( the new blinking icon of Autumn in the pond to the right)!  She has a blog at Snowdrops that is pretty cool...awesome graphics, stories about her beloved pets, gardening and her home back in England.
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Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com July 25, 2012

Punching Out Old Ladies

     I was shopping at Costco a few weeks ago, when the first incident occured.  I was on a mission, trying to eat my membership fees back at the free sample stations, while swinging in for a few items.  I found what I had come in for, 30 pounds of kitty litter that was shoved all the way back under the shelf.  I scooted half way into the shelf and heaved out the thirty pound bucket of lemon scented litter for my cats to crap on.  In doing so, I nailed an old lady that had shuffled behind me.  She swung around with fire blazing in her eyes.  "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!  I didn't see you standing behind me."
     "You hit, me!" she snorted.
      "I'm sorry, you weren't standing behind me just then.  Are you okay?"
     "You need to be more careful!  You hit me!" She hissed.
     An old saying my mom used threaten me with as a kid flared up with my rising temper...I'll give you something to cry about!  I looked right back into her seething eyes and I told her "You walked behind me.  You were not paying attention!"  I held my stare until she gave a stuck up little "humf", turned around and headed towards the 50 pack of toilet paper.  That's right Cruella Deville, go buy your toilet paper. 
     I bought my thirty pound bucket of lemon scented litter for my cats to crap on and headed to the regular super market.  I had my shopping cart in fifth gear and was peeling out of the toilet paper aisle when grandma death shuffled into my way.  I swerved my cart to a halt and when she looked into my eyes I could see rage and fear fighting to take her over.  You again, I thought.  There we stood, hands on our holsters, as a tumble weed blew with whistle that sang the theme to this being a one horse toilet paper town.  I held my gaze and she backed down the cracker aisle.  That's right, giddy up.

That's right!  I ain't afraid to hit you old lady!  Oh wait. Gary Busey?  I can't hit Gary Busey, can I? I don't know what the rules are on that one.

     The second incident happened at work.  My favorite, late 70 something ranching couple came in after requesting an appointment with me, oh yeah, and the doctor, to ejaculate their bulls for semen testing (you can get the scoop on ejaculating bulls at It's As Bad As It Sounds Job).  We chased the first bull through the alleyway and into the squeeze chute where he proceeded to blow up.  He was throwing his own rodeo in there.  I wasn't sure if that chute was going to make it 8 seconds.  I had to get a bar slid behind him to keep him from backing out and loosing him.  The doctor held on to the squeeze lever essentially holding the bull in place.  As we were fighting to secure the bull the rancher's wife shuffled in between us to help(?).  The bull, rip snorting, and hee hawing slammed back against the bar that I had half way behind him.  I gave it a shove with all my guts and glory and splosh!  My elbow hit into something soft and bam!  Lift off.  It was the rancher's wife! Slow motion kicked in as I watched her s-l-o-w-l-y  fly backwards,tripping over the doctor who was bracing against the raging bull.  She landed flat on the concrete floor.  Oh-my-GOD!!!!!!!! 
    I thought for sure she must have broken her hip or leg or back...  Before we could forget about the bull and pick her up, she was up on her feet.  She was fine minus being a little embarrassed.  She kept her cool and went on like it never happened.  She waved off my apology wanting to forget it even happened.      
    Now she's the real deal.  She is one tough cookie.  If I was coming out of the toilet paper aisle and came up against her in a good ol' western toilet paper stand off, you can bet your boots I'd tip my hat to her as I backed down into the cracker aisle.

Thanks for reading!  I started a Facebook group page for the blog.  Just look up Jackson Hill Horsey Girl Blog.  There are so many cool readers that have a love for horses, animals and stories with extreme spelling errors and grammatical errors.  There are many of you who are talented artists, graphic designers, photographers, writers...  It may be a cool way for you to make some connections and show off your animals and talents. 
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Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com July 19, 2012

Forgiveness Is Divine

     With another horse show on it's way in mid August, Autumn and I are back in the arena practicing.  At this upcoming show I plan on entering Autumn in some cantering classes on purpose (Get the last horse show scoop at Bucket List).  Early before work, we have been trying to perfect picking up the canter on cue and staying in it without me having to squeeze her all the way around the arena.  Granted, the workout I get while trying to keep Autumn cantering might make it possible for me to pulverize Suzanne Somers' thigh master into unrecognizable pieces   The problem is, it is just not a motivating exercise to get me out of bed at five in the morning. 

Not interested!

   To help with our training, I studied up on the latest training techniques and philosophies gleaned from books and videos.  Catchy phrases like "Be black and white", "Get the job done" "If they do it wrong that means that you have taught them to know it wrong"... If I was going to do this I needed to be clear in what I was asking her to do.  I needed it to be perfect even though I've never done it before.  I needed her to get it right away to make her learn it right.  The normal excitement I usually felt before riding Autumn was being invaded by a dreary shadow of anxiety. I even got something called an English Spanker to tie to my English saddle.  It is used to give the horse a little spank to motivate them to go or to keep on going if needed. 
   On one particular morning, as fog smothered the arena, we began our warm up.  We trotted and practiced jumping over some small fences.  I would have been happy to end on just that, but I knew I had to practice picking up the canter.  The thing that bothers me most about cantering in our arena is that it is small with short turns and Autumn is big and long.  I know it's hard for her to balance through the turns while she is gaining her confidence at that speed. 
    I took a deep breath, thought about the rhythm of the canter...1...2...3...1...2...3...,gave her a squeeze and she picked it up with ease.  I asked her for only one lap and let her slip back to a trot.  Then I asked her to repeat it again in the other direction and she did it just as well as the first try.  Of course, I wanted to end on that and so did she but I knew we should do it a few more times for practice. 
    Again, I took a deep breath.  Again I counted out the rhythm of the canter...1...2...3...1...2...3..., gave her a squeeze but this time she just increased the speed of her trot. While my brain was being shaken and not stirred "Get the job done! Be black and white!" chimed in.  I picked up that English spanker and gave her a few slaps.  Her trot went into warp speed but still no canter.  I gave her a few more slaps and she hit A.D.D-hyper-psycho-trot-on-crack speed. The job still wasn't getting done. I gave her a kick, drove my seat into her and felt my patience abandon ship.   After one more "Get the job done!" spank, she threw up her head.  I slowed her back down to a walk.  My face was burning with anger.  Not with her but with me.  I knew that she couldn't figure out how to pick up a canter at that speed.  I knew I should have slowed her down and tried again.  And I ignored it.  I ignored what Autumn was telling me.  She was trying to figure it out but was just physically unable to do it.  What a huge jerk I was! I was more worried about getting the job done so I could pick up the canter in the show ring that I became mommy dearest.  
   Autumn's eyes sank into dark pools of sadness and confusion.  She tried her hardest and she got spanked.  I had to do something to make her feel better quick!  So, I asked her to hop over her favorite little jump.  When she landed I gave her big pets, hugs and  kisses and jumped off and gave her a cookie.  I apologized to her and promised that I would listen to her always when she was trying her hardest.  She perked up and happiness sparkled back in her eyes. 
     She didn't bring up the "black and white" lesson from hell on our walk to the pasture that day. She wasn't mean to me. She just let it go. As disappointed and shameful as I felt about that ride that day, I think that if I could erase it right now I wouldn't.  Autumn taught me some very important things from that ride...I need to listen to her and know when she's trying her hardest.   I need to use my heart and my mind to train her, not my goals, not slogans, not my anxieties.  I need to let her forgiveness give me the chance to never to treat her that way again. 

My great friend and teacher.

Thanks for reading!  If you would like to leave a comment (a lot of folks are having trouble posting comments on this blog...I can post them for you) or if you would like to be added to my mailing list please contact me at jacksonhillhorseygirl@aol.com .

Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com July 11, 2012