The doorbell rang out back in the barn, a signal that someone had walked into the veterinary hospital. I walked up to the front desk and there was one of my favorite 80+year old, Portuguese dairyman/profound sage of wisdom client (You can catch up at Save Your Nipples and Save Your Nipples Part 2...Yes there's a part 2 ). He was already shaking his finger at me. "You!"
"What?"
"You don't tell me about the juicy!" he said.
"The juicy?"
"You sell to me yesterday!"
What juicy did I sell him yesterday? I thought for a minute and I recalled that he bought CMT Solution used to test for mastitis in cows (mastitis is a bacterial inflammation of the udder that can be spread during the process of milking, either by machine or by hand).
"Oh! You didn't know you had to add water, it's concentrated."
"Yes, needs juicy!"
I hadn't even thought about it when I sold it to him. It needed to be added to a gallon of water. "Did you use it all?"
"No I make it juicy and I..." and he started shaking the invisible bottle in his hand. "You have to shake, shake, shake it like the girls in Brazil. They shake their big butts. And do you know? They shake their big butts on high heels! They are like this." He measured out how tall the heels were and luckily not the size of their rear ends.
"Well, I hate to disappoint you but you're not going to see me shaking your CMT Solution with my big butt in high heels."
"No?" He said with a twinkle in his eye.
I tried to change the subject and asked him if he was going to the big dairyman to-do, the Dairy Princess Dinner. My plan of trying to switch the topic off of booty shaking back fired. "Why? Do you want me to be your date?"
All I could think of was, this guy is over 80 and he is still a player. I couldn't imagine him in his 30's. We'd have to lock him out of the office and use cattle prod on him to keep him under control.
Dumbfounded, I silently stood there and pondered on how I had inadvertently hit on him. Luckily he answered for me. "You are married and I respect your husband." He waved and left.
Well, now I know. If I'm going to sell CMT Solution, I better make sure I tell the person that it's concentrated. And if I really want to be helpful, I should tell them to make it juicy and shake their booty like a saucy Brazilian girl in 4 inch high heels for the best results.
Thanks for reading! I will fill you all in on the Cancer Ride soon, aka when I finally get my photos uploaded. If you would like to be added to my mailing list contact me at jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com
Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Sucker
After work, I stopped at the feed store to pick up some hay for my horse Autumn. I went up to the counter to pay and the girls asked me if I could hold on a second and went into the back room. They returned with a card board box and in it was a fluffy yellow and black chick. "He's blind. He's not going to make it with all the other chicks in the brooder. You can have him for free."
Where would I keep a chick? I lived in a little cottage without a back yard. The land lord made it quite clear that pets were forbidden. I scooped the poor, fuzzy, little fellow up in my hands and decided that the guest room could be converted into a blind baby chick rehab center. And I also decided he was a sentient being in need, not a pet per say.
Next thing you know I have the counter covered with chick starter feed, cracked corn for snacks, a water bowl, a feed dish and a heat lamp. I looked at the little guy and had an overwhelming feeling I was missing something. What could I get this little guy to help him find his way around? Then it hit me. He needed a bell...well not for him but he needed another chick to wear one so he could hear it and follow it around. So I went and picked out Bell, a little hen chick for him to follow.
Fifty dollars later, I was leaving the store with my free chick, his new friend and armfuls of chick paraphernalia. I looked down to see if I had the word SUCKER written across my chest. And sure enough, I realized I did. Well, it didn't really say sucker but the veterinary hospital's name and logo that I work at was plastered on my shirt.
On the way to the ranch, I stopped at my friend's house, to pick up her giant dog crate that would become the chicks new mansion. After scheming along the drive up to the ranch, I went directly to the ranch owner, Bill J.'s house. I scooped up the little chicks and knocked on his door. Knowing I was up to something he asked "What?"
"Oh, these are my new chicks. This little one is blind and the other one is his seeing eye chick."
"And?"
"Well, I'm going to raise them at home and when they get bigger they are going to need a bigger home. I noticed that your hen house looks like it has two nests open."
"I don't know how the blind chick is..."
"Baby Bill J. will be just fine out there with Bell. I'll bring them over when they have feathers. You're the best!"
When Bill got done rolling his eyes, I saw him look down at his chest to see if he had SUCKER written across it.
I took the chicks home and set up their deluxe suite. I fed and nursed Baby Bill J. tenderly. He loved it when I took him outside and placed him in the grass so he could look up to the warm sunshine. He was so cute and content. As the days passed the poor little Baby Bill J. just grew weaker and started to fade. He passed away. My heart broke and so did little Bell's. Now she was alone. So what does a sucker do in a situation like this? I went to the feed store and bought another chick, Merv*. They kept each other company until they out grew the guest room and off to the ranch they went to start their new life.
I hope little Baby Bill J. is sitting in a warm patch of grass in chicky heaven and can see the sunshine that he couldn't see here.
*Merv turned out to be the rooster from hell. He was an abusive womanizer and Bill kicked him out and ditched him on my unsuspecting friend, aka another SUCKER, in need of a rooster for her clutch of hens. You can read more about the adventures of Merv the Perv rooster on my friend's blog Theansword in the The Rooster Diaries.
Thanks for reading! And a HUGE THANKS to everyone who donated to the American Cancer Society HERO Ride For Life Fundraiser that Autumn and I will ride on this Saturday. There's still time to make a donation. Just email me at Jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com. You can also email me here if you would like to be added to my email list.
Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com
Where would I keep a chick? I lived in a little cottage without a back yard. The land lord made it quite clear that pets were forbidden. I scooped the poor, fuzzy, little fellow up in my hands and decided that the guest room could be converted into a blind baby chick rehab center. And I also decided he was a sentient being in need, not a pet per say.
 |
| I may be blind but I'm super cute. |
 |
| Bell & Baby Bill J. |
On the way to the ranch, I stopped at my friend's house, to pick up her giant dog crate that would become the chicks new mansion. After scheming along the drive up to the ranch, I went directly to the ranch owner, Bill J.'s house. I scooped up the little chicks and knocked on his door. Knowing I was up to something he asked "What?"
"Oh, these are my new chicks. This little one is blind and the other one is his seeing eye chick."
"And?"
"Well, I'm going to raise them at home and when they get bigger they are going to need a bigger home. I noticed that your hen house looks like it has two nests open."
"I don't know how the blind chick is..."
"Baby Bill J. will be just fine out there with Bell. I'll bring them over when they have feathers. You're the best!"
When Bill got done rolling his eyes, I saw him look down at his chest to see if he had SUCKER written across it.
I took the chicks home and set up their deluxe suite. I fed and nursed Baby Bill J. tenderly. He loved it when I took him outside and placed him in the grass so he could look up to the warm sunshine. He was so cute and content. As the days passed the poor little Baby Bill J. just grew weaker and started to fade. He passed away. My heart broke and so did little Bell's. Now she was alone. So what does a sucker do in a situation like this? I went to the feed store and bought another chick, Merv*. They kept each other company until they out grew the guest room and off to the ranch they went to start their new life.
I hope little Baby Bill J. is sitting in a warm patch of grass in chicky heaven and can see the sunshine that he couldn't see here.
*Merv turned out to be the rooster from hell. He was an abusive womanizer and Bill kicked him out and ditched him on my unsuspecting friend, aka another SUCKER, in need of a rooster for her clutch of hens. You can read more about the adventures of Merv the Perv rooster on my friend's blog Theansword in the The Rooster Diaries.
Thanks for reading! And a HUGE THANKS to everyone who donated to the American Cancer Society HERO Ride For Life Fundraiser that Autumn and I will ride on this Saturday. There's still time to make a donation. Just email me at Jacksonhillhorseygirl@gmail.com. You can also email me here if you would like to be added to my email list.
Copyright (c) 2012 Jacksonhillhorseygirl.com
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